Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
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after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
