All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
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Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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