this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
