So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
