I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
