Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
