..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
