Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
operation have a gay friend backfired
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
