can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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