ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
