I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
