as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We were destined to go to rehab together
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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