What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
