Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
