I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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