We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize