We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
