Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Randomize
