He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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