Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
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It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
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You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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