i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
