Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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