The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
