so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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