Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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