Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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