So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
