hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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