I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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