I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
