I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
