did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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