wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is Oprah even human
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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