I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
