my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize