He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize