i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
