as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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