I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
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That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
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Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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