"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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