Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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