they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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