seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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