I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We have so much sex to catch up on
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
