omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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