You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just invented taco cereal.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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