With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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