Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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