Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
