ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize