I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick