You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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