you traded sex for a burrito?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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