I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize