Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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