There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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