I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
