You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
there was a trapeze. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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