No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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