that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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