Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
