so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
